Tuesday, March 23, 2010

My Life In Music

My Life In Music


It is amazing to me how integral music is to me, how it has been written into every page of my life’s story. Every memory has a song, every single one.

I hear Kenny Rogers sing ‘You Decorated My Life’ and I am 5 years old, riding in the back seat of my moms pea green pinto, the wind blows my baby fine hair and my mom is singing in the front seat.

Bonnie Tyler’s ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ comes on and I am 7 years old, Children’s Services has just taken me away from my mom and sent me to live with my dad, who I met that same day. My favorite Uncle Dave picks me up in his baby blue Chevy Luv and takes me to ice cream. As we drive, we sing this song and I am aware that someone cares about me after all.

I hear The Cars ‘Drive’ and I am 10 heading to the coast with my Uncle and Aunt to ride 4 -wheelers on the dunes, I feel the soft sand between my toes.

I hear Firehouse's ‘Love of a Lifetime’, I am 11 and thinking of this one guy who I had the biggest crush on. He turned out not to be the love of my lifetime but an unexpected and entertaining, albeit goat-loving friend, a million years later.

I can hear Bryan Adams ‘Everything I Do’ and I am 12 years old in Amy’s basement, we’re watching Robin Hood, singing along and wishing that we could be loved the way Robin loved Maid Marian.

I can hear U2's ‘With Or Without You’ and instantly I am 14 years old again in my upstairs room on Ella street that overlooked the city, where every winter, like magic, my windowsills would fill with happy little lady bugs.

I hear Starflyer 59’s ‘Leigh and Me’ and I am 16 and toying with the idea of really being in love, stolen kisses and fingers intertwined and then heartbreak when it was over.

I hear Gin Blossoms ‘Follow You Down, Till I Hear it From You’ and I am 17, I just surprisingly stumbled onto the love of my life.

I hear Everything But the Girl’s ‘Get Me’ and I am 18 and driving to the ocean with my Matty, happy and loved.

I hear Green Day’s ‘Time of Your Life’, its 1998 and I am planning my wedding.

I hear Frankie Vallie’s ‘Can’t Take My Eyes off You’ and I am rushing down the aisle with my love after we are pronounced husband and wife, July 25th 1998.

Enya softly plays ‘Wild Child’ and instantly it’s the year 2000, I am holding my oh-so tiny son and his little baby head is the sweetest smell in the world. It’s the beginning of something more beautiful than I had never even imagined.

Natalie Maines soulfully croons ‘Godspeed’ and its 2004, the force of the love I feel for my sons hits me so hard that tears unbidden spring from my eyes and happily slide down my face. I hold my newborn son in one arm and my oldest in the other, our family is complete. I am fully and completely surrounded by love, more love than I knew existed.

‘Landslide’ by Dixie Chicks plays and its 2006. I am riding in the car with my sister, we sing the songs on this album countless times (on our way to jointly purchase diapers) creating a beautiful harmony and bonding together like we were never able to do as children.
As I write this I cry happy tears because of the memories we created and heartbroken tears because I miss her so much.

I hear ‘My Humps’ and am teleported to a wedding reception with my photographer best friend, on a beautiful summer day in 2007. I am assisting today. We over come surprise that these particular wedding guests would play Black Eyed Peas then proceed to shake the junk in our trunks, giggling all the while.

Taylor Swift sings ‘Romeo and Juliet’ and it’s 2009, I am in my kitchen with a beloved friend who has become a much needed sister. We sing along and pour out our love, baking it into delicious things for our families. She is the inspiration for this journey through the music of my life.
Ashley, thank you for all of the songs, the meals, the laughs and the love; May we still be singing when we are one hundred.


  1. That was beautiful Amanda! I loved seeing the glimpses into your life, saddened by the pain but smiled as I saw how you had moments of love & assurance given to you throughout! Thank you for sharing your journey!!

  2. Thanks Dolly!
    Its kind of nice to look back and see how much balance there was even though I didn't realize it until I wrote it out specifically.
    Thanks for reading it and for your constant support and friendship!