Saturday, April 17, 2010

Musings About My Mother

I was raised by my mom Elizabeth, until I was eight years old.
In that (sometimes much too adventurous) time she taught me a lot.
Mostly she taught me, by example of what I didn’t want to be.
That teaching has guided me my entire life.
It wasn’t until recently that I began to see that she is part of me
and that it isn’t a bad thing, wonder of wonders.
I had always thought that if I was anything even slightly like her,
I would have failed which isn’t the case at all.
If anything I am all of her goodness.
Her smile, her nose, her quick laughter, her hair, her hands, her eyes,
her shyness.
But at the same time, I am me, in part because of her.
It has taken me this long to make peace with her inside of me.
And somehow I think I can love her now for her goodness that she
either knowingly or not, gave to me.
I think in a way, I am what she could have been had she been brave.
I think she would be very proud to see how brave and strong I have
become.
I hope that she would gain some satisfaction in knowing
that she helped, even if in part, make me this way.

2 comments:

  1. I love this. It made me cry and I love you all the more for it. You are turning into such a graceful and beautiful person. I love who you are becoming!

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  2. We are such cryers lately...it made me cry that it made you cry...laughing while crying!
    Thank you for all of the good you see in me and make me see because you saw it first :)

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